Lawyer v Witness (6) - You've just got to laugh

ATTORNEY:         So the date of conception (of the baby) was

      August 8th?

WITNESS:            Yes.

ATTORNEY:         And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS:            Getting laid.

 ____________________________________________

 

ATTORNEY:         She had three children , right?

WITNESS:            Yes.

ATTORNEY:         How many were boys?

WITNESS:            None.

ATTORNEY:         Were there any girls?

WITNESS:            our Honour, I think I need a different attorney.

     Can I get a new attorney?

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Look out for more on tomorrow

Lawyer v Witness (5) - You've just got to laugh

ATTORNEY:  Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS:  Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY:  The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS:      He's 20, much like your IQ.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Look out for more on Tomorrow

Lawyer v Witness (4) - You've just got to laugh

 ATTORNEY:  Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS:     We both do.

ATTORNEY:  Voodoo?

WITNESS:     We do.

ATTORNEY:  You do?

WITNESS:     Yes , voodoo.

This is from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Look out for more on Tomorrow

Lawyer v Witness (3) - You've just got to laugh

ATTORNEY:  This myasthenia gravis , does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS:     Yes.

ATTORNEY:  And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS:     I forget..

ATTORNEY:  You forget?  Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

This is from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Look out for more on Tomorrow

Lawyer v Witness (2) - You've just got to laugh

ATTORNEY:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS:     Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

and:

ATTORNEY:  Are you sexually active?

WITNESS:     No , I just lie there.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Look out for more on Monday

Lawyer v Witness - You've just got to laugh

ATTORNEY:  What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? 

WITNESS:     He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?

WITNESS:     My name is Susan!

This is from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Look out for another tomorrow

First-time buyers' SDLT relief ends in March

First-time buyers' stamp duty land tax (SDLT) relief expires on 24 March 2012, with no transitional provisions. Any transaction with an effective completion date of 25 March 2012 or later cannot benefit from SDLT relief, irrespective of the date of any contract or agreement.