My Satnav

I have a little Satnav,
It sits there in my car.
A Satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are.

I have a little Satnav,
I've had it all my life,
It’s better than the normal ones,
My Satnav is my wife!

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive,
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five".

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake,
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green,
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear,
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device,
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling;
Each journey's pretty fraught,
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off !!

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How to take control of your Twitter account?

You may wish to do this if you Twitter account has been hacked/phished.

This requires three simple steps

A) Have a look which applications are using your Twitter account. 

Follow below:

Login to your Twitter account

Click on the symbol, on top of your screen on the right side 

Click on ‘Settings’

Click on 'Apps', on left of screen

Do you see any services you do not recognise? Be a 100% sure that this application is unwanted, then revoke access.

Now going fast to the second very important step.
B) Change your password

Click on the symbol, because you are still logged in

Click on ‘Settings’

Click on 'Password', on left of screen

Change this totally to something else

C) Apologise

Now you have full control of your Twitter account, it's time to send an apology message saying that you account was hacked and you have been sending spam tweets which you were unaware of. Mention that you have 100% control of your Twitter account again.

Warning Energy Companies Direct Debit Rip-Off

Some energy companies are sending letters to consumers saying they have reviewed their direct debit payments and the amount taken will be increased. We have had a letter ourselves stating “We’ve just completed your latest review and your Direct Debit payment has been different to your usage, so we’ve now calculated your new payment amount which we’ve summarised for you”. Our new calculated payment would constitute an increase of just over 35% on our previous payments even though we are actually in credit by more than a single monthly payment. I contacted our supplier, EDF, and told them their review didn’t make sense and they immediately, without any argument, changed our future direct debit payment back to the amount we had been paying for the last year! 

If you receive a similar letter, check it carefully, and if you disagree with your supplier’s assessment contact them.

A point of interest: the property to which the above refers in the last 12 months used less than £96 p/m of electricty. EDF calculated our future monthly usage to be £7,474.00!

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QualitySolicitors - 'For Whatever Life Brings'

 

More time to protect your tenant’s deposits

With less than one month to go before changes to the Localism Bill take effect on 6 April, lets take a look at what the changes will mean for deposit protection by landlords and agents.

The good news is that that the changes will give you more time to protect your tenant’s deposits.  But if you don’t do so, the courts will have more powers to impose penalties.

More time to protect deposits:

• Currently: Landlords and agents currently have 14 days to protect the deposit after taking it from the tenant.

• From 6 April 2012: Landlords and agents will have 30 days to protect the deposit after taking it from the tenant.

Lawyer v Witness (11, the last one) - You've just got to laugh

And lastly:

 ATTORNEY:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS:     No.

ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS:     No.

ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS:     No..

ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS:     No.

ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS:     Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS:     Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 

This is from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Lawyer v Witness(10) - You've just got to laugh

ATTORNEY:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS:     Are you qualified to ask that question?

 ______________________________________

ATTORNEY:  Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS:     Are you shitting me?

 

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. 

 

Look out for another tomorrow