Lawyer v Witness (11, the last one) - You've just got to laugh

And lastly:

 ATTORNEY:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS:     No.

ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS:     No.

ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS:     No..

ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS:     No.

ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS:     Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS:     Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 

This is from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters.

Lawyer v Witness(10) - You've just got to laugh

ATTORNEY:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS:     Are you qualified to ask that question?

 ______________________________________

ATTORNEY:  Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS:     Are you shitting me?

 

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, which contains things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. 

 

Look out for another tomorrow